Dunkirk Things
Life is a lot of things strung together. I could use the
word “experiences” but that is far too fancy a word for me. We see things, we have
things happen, and at the end of our life all we will have is a [hopefully]
long string of things. It’s a very basic thing.
I took a trip up to Dunkirk, New York this week. Dunkirk
sits below Buffalo, a slightly greater distance north of Jamestown
than back to Buffalo. I had a thing happen to me up there in Dunkirk one time,
a few years ago, five at least. It all started with a routine delivery to a
rental store on the corner of East 4th and Main Street. I pulled up
in front of the store, along the curb of a medium-size shopping center. It
would be a quick in-and-out delivery since they were only getting six pieces,
maybe less than that, I cannot exactly recall.
Two people came out of the front door. One was a man, the
other, a girl. I could not tell you anything about the guy, but the girl, I can
tell you about her. She was a blonde probably at least fifteen years my junior. She might have been beautiful- that’s not
a fair thing to say because I believe every girl is beautiful in her own way.
It would be more than fair to say she was cute to me. She was short- standing
straight the top of her head would barely reach the bottom of my nose. When I
first saw her I imagined pictures of us standing together with the caption, “Cutest
couple ever” underneath the photograph. I don’t know why I thought that,
perhaps it’s just one of those things.
Never did get her name. I can tell you she was a feisty
thing. She swore like a sailor which I found oddly attractive, her pretending
to be a lady and all. She dropped the F-bomb with ease left and right. It made
me smile. She would grab the furniture I placed on the tail of the trailer and
hand it off to her gentleman co-worker. We engaged in mindless, entertaining
banter when he disappeared inside the store with the merchandise. I enjoyed the
company. My eyes did too. My mind was not far behind.
As quick as that delivery started, it was finished. I set
the last piece on the tail and went to secure the loading strap on what
remained in the trailer. As I walked back towards her, she started a short
conversation that led to a movie that still plays in my head.
“Is that it?”
I looked down at her. She was looking up at me. We were
locked eyeball to eyeball and it felt intense.
“Yes. Why, you want more?”
“Yeah, maybe I do.”
We stood there just looking at each other for a few seconds
that actually felt like a few minutes. Her counterpart came outside with the
paperwork and cleared his throat as if he wanted to announce his presence
without being rude. The director had just yelled, “Cut!” How rude of him.
Paperwork in hand, parting pleasantries completed, I was
back in the driver’s seat of my chariot. She was gone from my life, but not forgotten.
Later that same week, I stayed overnight at a hotel in Dunkirk, less than a
mile from that store. There was a TGIF restaurant next-door. (It could have
been an Applebees, I am not sure.) Anyway- since I would be enjoying a room, I
thought I would go have a good dinner and a beer. Even before I checked into my
room, my thoughts got dangerous. “I should call the store. I can ask for the feisty
cute blonde girl. Surely whoever answers the phone will know who I mean. It
might be neat to ask her down for a beverage.” I got close. At one point I had
the store phone number and the phone in my hand. My thoughts went like this: “Yes
I should. No, I shouldn’t.” The latter won for many reasons, the first being
that I knew it wasn’t the correct thing to do. Sharing a beer with a new friend
is okay, however, I knew there was a good chemistry between us. What if that one
beer led to two, three and then waking up next to each other the following morning
in bed? There are many reasons that
would probably not have been a good situation to find myself in. Hoppy glasses
of goodness can lead to bad things if not used responsibly. It took me many
repeated lessons when I was younger to really understand that. I wasn’t about
to forget those teachings now.
Sometimes my mind still wanders and asks a whole bunch of “What
ifs.” I’ve read you can have more than one soul mate, but I am not sure I like agreeing
with that theory. It’s troublesome and complicated. What if I had hooked up
with that girl from Dunkirk and we started a relationship? I live almost four
hundred miles away. It wouldn’t be fair to ask a girl from beautiful upstate New
York to move to Berks County, Pennsylvania and expect her to live a normal,
comfortable life. As much as I like it up north, I could never move there
because I have too many things here right now. I couldn’t even fly my airplane
to see her on the weekends because it’s too slow to outrun the weather. If I
got stuck up there I would miss work which could potentially cost me my job. I
don’t have enough money to buy a faster set of wings, nor do I really want to. In
the end, I would assume that I am happy with the things I have in my life and I
don’t want to lose them for a new set of things.
During the course of my trucking career, some folks, mostly
men, have asked if I partake in shenanigans on the road. I do not. I am not a
man whore- I have known a few and I do not envy that lifestyle because it is
disrespectful to the women on both ends of the man. That is not how love is
supposed to work. I can say that I’m astounded by how many beautiful women
there are on planet earth. It doesn’t seem fair at times, but my momma repeatedly told me life isn't fair when I was growing up. The problem with hot girls
is that they are usually caught up with themselves and not very friendly to me
or other people causing them to be less attractive in my eyes. That girl at the
rental store is the only woman who made me consider misbehaving. It’s still
undecided if I love her or hate her for that. Either way, she had all the things most girls don't.
Oh, that girl from Dunkirk. I like how she me made me think about things.
I like the spark I saw in her eyes and how she swore like a sailor. When I go
to Dunkirk or just see the town name on my paperwork, I always think of her. I
guess it’s just one of those things.
“It’s okay to let your mind wander, just remember that
sometimes it’s safer if your soul doesn’t follow through.” – JSH
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