We Make it Three! Also: Darn Girl Truckers and The Anticipation of the Cracking Whip.
A Perfect Start to the week!
Monday didn’t start out so well. While doing my Pre-trip inspection around 6:30 in the morning I found a flat tire on my truck. Fiddlesticks. It’s a bad time for this to happen, no one is around. I have to resort to calling our breakdown number which is basically like calling Triple A. I call by 7 and hurry up and wait, but I can’t just sit idle. If you’re gonna have to wait around you may as well be productive. I begin to polish my wheels with the intention of finishing one side- they were not bad to begin with, just not up to my sparkly high standards.
One of our mechanics showed up around 8 and he had me call road service again and see how much longer till help arrives. They said someone should be to me within an hour and I kindly replied to “cancel that.” Our guy called his guy and they said they would send a guy. This guy seemed to take awhile also, but finally showed up. I completed my goal of finishing one side of the wheels- actually I could have probably finished them all if ten thousand people wouldn’t have stopped by to chat.
Finally left the yard around 9:30- three hours later then planned, but these things tend to happen on Mondays. It wasn’t a huge deal, I had only four stops semi-close to home. I was done and back to Leesport with a good four hours left on my day.
Off To The Beach!
I call for my next load and SCORE! Five stops, Onley Va, to Seaford Delaware. I’m still dodging Connecticut, this is a miracle! Onley, Virginia is about 30 miles into Virginia on Route 13 and anywhere in Delaware, the Eastern Shore of Maryland and into Virginia rank right up there in my favorite places to go. The thirty thousand traffic lights can be tiresome but that’s only nitpicking.
When I get back to Leesport from my little local adventure I do the old switch-a-roo with trailers and hit the bricks for Delaware. I decided to overnight in Felton, Delaware and save the last fifty some miles for the morning.
Tuesday dawned beautiful and warm and as I made my way South on 13, I started thinking about this ride and one I would be traveling again on a Saturday morning, just a hair over three weeks from now. This is the exact route I’ll be going with the Wife and kids to the Outer Banks of North Carolina! I can’t mention what city since I have enough problems with the paparazzi and try to throw them off when I can.
It’s almost more enjoyable now, cruising along, things nice and quiet in a big pretty truck. I start to wonder if I couldn’t catch a load that ends up down there and just find a spot to hide the truck for a week- meet the Darn Wife and the fifty are-we-there-yet kids at our palatial mansion. Daydreaming is fun!
When I arrive at my first stop in Onley, I plug in our beach destination into the Garmin GPS just to see how close I am. One hundred, fifty nine miles. Roughly 3 hours and change. I’m way closer to our Vacation hotspot then I am home, perhaps I should just go there now and hang out till they show up? Enough daydreaming!
The five stops slide off effortlessly and I depart Seaford and hammer down back to Leesport. Getting close to the yard I have the familiar “call in for the next load anxiety”, but I finally make the call. Four stops, Oneota, New York, to Ithaca. I can’t believe my good fortune and this isn’t even a daydream!
New York and Preparing for Vermont! (And a Wise old Indian)
Hit up the fancy shower in Leesport and back on the road to Oneota. Nice ride, I could see rain coming down in the distance to my left as I slid up the North East Extension of the PA turnpike and was happy it wasn’t out to get me. There were a few showers I did have to punch through but the truck still looked good when I made my evening destination at a little truck stop just 9 miles shy of my first stop the next morning.
Good thing I was able to get that close to my first stop- Wednesday turned out to be a long day and I just barely made it back before my clock ran out. When I was empty in Ithaca I had to get my trailer loaded with empty glass bottles in Elmira Heights, NY. The place was unusually busy, normally I am in and out in 45 minutes or so but today it took two and half hours! I talked to a couple guys who were taking their loads halfway across the country, I was glad I was only going to Fogelsville, Pa, a whole 180 some miles. These loads are way too heavy, my back hurts till I get them where they go! I have no desire to pull something so heavy half way across the Country, furniture is the perfect weight thank-you very much.
I dropped the trailer at Sam Adams in Fogelsville and called for my next load and updated my arrival in Leesport as 8pm. “We have nothing on you and she’s done planning for the day. Call in the morning.”
What?
This almost definitely means I’ll be leaving in the early afternoon for somewhere far, far away. That’s good and I’m hoping for an upstate NY run, Plattsburgh perhaps? Either way, the weather looks to be spectacular in the entire Northeast, so I must prepare for what adventure awaits!
I picked up some fuel in Leesport and went back to the yard and disposed of my empty trailer. In the waning half hour or so of daylight I used my ‘quick detail’ spray to go over the entire truck. Most guys are happy to be home with some extra time off and make a run for the house with reckless abandon. My obsession keeps me here till 9pm. Not too bad, and the truck looked awesome!
Thursday morning I called in around 9 and was told to call back in 30 minutes. Not a problem- they’re just probably finding me a special load? Call back at 10 and bingo: 5 Stops in Vermont, Vergenees to Wolcott! Woo-Hoo! Vermont is in my chest of great states, along with New York, and Maine. Massachusetts? I could take it or leave it, just a wee bit too similar to it’s neighbor to the South- and you know how I feel about that! This load is one hundred percent a “do a little dance, make a little noise” kind of assignment!
I was out of the house by 11:30, way earlier then necessary, but I had unfinished work to do before I left. The truck was detailed and one side of the wheels were all sparkly but not the other- obviously unbalanced! I can’t drive that far feeling like that. I arrived early and finished the other side, and just for kicks added some Armor All tire gel. She looked ready! Check her out:
It may not make a lot of sense to people why I (and a few other obsessed drivers) do these things, especially when I was only driving Thursday and Friday only to leave the truck sit around on the weekend. Short story on why: so I can look happy.
True story: Last Summer I had the truck parked in a semi-secluded part of the yard. I had just finished detailing the truck and was giving the wheels a once over before I departed for where ever I was off to.
An Indian gentleman in full Indian garb (including that head thing) wondered over and began to make small talk. He had a bit of an accent and it was difficult to understand him at times- but he did comment on how nice it looked. Me, always trying to explain away my terrible obsession, rattled off a rambling few sentences about how it’s my first new truck, I want to take care of it, blah blah blah.
He pondered this for a few moments then said one of the most wisdom filled statements I had ever heard in my life:
"So, when you go down the road, you look happy!”
I stood there quiet for a moment, taking in the simplicity of his statement. I am happy, and me keeping my truck all dressed up is a direct reflection of that! This is a very wise Indian man standing by me.
Neither one of us spoke for what seemed like an eternity but in actuality was probably only a few seconds. What happened next was probably one of the weirder things that ever happened to me in Leesport, perhaps in my life.
We both began to smile, locked arms, looked straight into the camera and began to sing (and dance):
“If you’re happy and you know it
And you really want to show it;
If you’re happy and you know it
Shine your wheels!”
Strange, huh? I just hope that little ditty stays in your mind for all time the way it has in mine! In the end though, that’s the reason for all the time I spend keeping up my truck: I’m happy. If anyone ever see’s me driving around in a dull black truck with flat gray wheels, please ask me what’s wrong or at least schedule me some time with a therapist! Thank-you.
Quick side note: After I finished my wheels Thursday, I strolled over to a day cab parked near my truck. I was pretty sure it was driven by my friend (and one-time student) John. Don’t know why other then to look at dull wheels versus mine, but I noticed his windshield was extremely bug ridden. Since I like him and really enjoyed our time together I hopped up there and cleaned it to perfection. Bad idea.
When I was cleaning the outside I noticed the inside windshield needed a good cleaning also. Then I noticed the side windows, inside and out. Did them all. John is a shuttle driver, nothing but up to Mass. And back, most in the middle of the night. That’s a bit of a drab job to me, and I was hoping having clean windows would brighten his day and perhaps help pass that night wondering “who done it?” After I was done though, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure it was even John’s truck, so perhaps I freaked someone else out. If it was you, John, your welcome, hope I do windows okay, but remember you get what you pay for!
Vermont was a great time. I made notes on all kinds of stuff, like a truck stop that was only 18 miles from my first stop instead of 87 miles from the rest area on Interstate 87 where I stayed. I could have gained an hour for Friday if that had been listed in my truck stop directory. It may have came in handy, but probably not...
I also jotted down town names where I saw a couple of real cool looking properties for sale. I would go later to the Realtor website and check them out, see pictures of the inside, see if they’re affordable. I do this often and plan to start obtaining fancy abodes all over creation, that way I’ll always have a place to call home. I gave brief thought to taking on a new religion and adding a Wife to each place but I’ve never been much into organized religion and am pretty sure no one could top the job my Wife does taking care of me. Guess I’ll be living in squalor and going hungry at my fancy homes away from home!
Friday’s work done, called in empty- after heading West for a bit. I was in the boondocks, couldn’t even get a cell phone signal and facing a journey over 400 miles home. Dispatch sent me to pick up foam along the way, near Scranton, Pa.. No problem, but it was clear my arrival would be Saturday morning which is perfectly acceptable especially after such an enjoyable week.
Darn Girl Truckers!
I made it all the way to a rest area along 84, some 30 odd miles from the foam plant. My plan was to get up early, grab the foam and hit up the Pilot truck stop along 81, along the same road where I would pick up the turnpike to take me on home. If I am lucky enough to find a space at the Pilot (even on a Saturday morning) I could enjoy their spectacular coffee and breakfast at Wendy’s. Yummy.
I pulled in hoping for the best but it sure didn’t look good- trucks all over the place, even where they shouldn’t be, a tell tale sign I might just drive on without my Java. I did a quick loop around the joint to scope it out and ended up in a back row. I saw a spot in a corner I could possibly blind side into if I had to, and began to wait for a Swift truck to finish his backing maneuvers so I could set myself up. To my left was a line of trucks. While waiting I gave a quick glance to a US Express truck parked there, a sharp looking newer one, a fancy international I think. I accidently caught the glance of a pretty girl brushing her hair in the shotgun seat.
It was straight out of a movie- the way she was brushing her long hair and the way it glowed in the morning light. I’m talking a decent movie mind you, like “The Truckers of Madison County.” Anyway, she saw me and was probably admiring my pretty truck with real shiny wheels, or maybe even me with my movie star good looks, or both.
Either way, one thing was for sure, I was putting this truck in a hole somewhere on this property! I couldn’t just drive away now, because if I did, I was sure she’d be thinking “Poor boy in such a pretty truck- but he has no skills and left this little truck stop cause he got scared.” No way am I going to let some girl driver get away with that!
I swung around to the front and did a perfect job of blind siding the truck into a spot. It was to her right so she couldn’t see my expertise, but I made sure she saw ME as I strutted into the building with my chest all puffed out macho-man style. I glanced over and she saw me walk by so my mission was complete: I got my coffee and didn’t let some darn girl think I couldn’t do a difficult back!
In all seriousness though, I am a big fan of Women Truckers and I see more and more of them all the time. That’s a good thing, besides adding beauty to the road, I never heard one talk nonsense on the radio, or saw one driving like a maniac, tailgating an innocent family in a minivan. They bring a lot more to the table to improve the truckers image without even trying and I think it is because most have nothing to prove and don’t seek attention like some cowboys you sometimes see on the highways.
I’m a fellow with a good sense of humor, but sometimes I am concerned others don’t see my humor as humor. Take my five year old, Josh, for instance. The other weekend I was catching up on Ice Road Truckers and this year there is a girl on the show. She had a scene in the episode I was watching and I said “Look Josh, a pretty girl driving a big truck!”
He gave a quick glance at the TV and without thinking said “Girls don’t drive big trucks. And girls don’t fly airplanes.”
I was confused, does he know I am kidding when I talk about girls not doing stuff or he is kidding now, playing my game? I wasn’t sure, didn’t know what to say besides “That’s right Son, Girls stay home, cook, clean and take care of the boys like good little women should.” Tee-Hee. And right about now I feel like I am not winning any female fans, so lets move on, shall we?
I Know What They’re Up To!
We made it three weeks without Connecticut! Looking back on these last few weeks that have been Connecticut free, has really got me thinking, especially this past week.
Dispatch is up to something, and I know it. I’m on to their grand plan!
I can see them out there in a dimly lit room in Wisconsin, all hunched around a computer screen:
“Lets show him the road to the beach, then show him the absolute beauty of Vermont! Lets let him have so much fun that he’ll actually miss his job while he’s on vacation!”
It’s almost like they think I’m going to accidentally win the lottery while I’m away and never come back! But I know what they’re up to! The real fun starts when my week at the beach is over and I come back to work. Then they start cracking the whip, complete with the ‘whoo-cheee’ cracking sound!
Here’s how I imagine things will be when I come back from a glorious Outer Banks Vacation:
Call in to voice mail for Mondays Load:
“Hi Jason, hope you had fun at the beach, 10 drops for Monday, Danbury to Milford, CT.! Whoo-Cheee!”
Call in for Tuesday’s load:
“How was the water, warm enough? 8 drops Southington to Willington, CT.! Whoo-Cheee!”
Call in for Wednesday’s load:
“Enjoy that hot tub, did ya? 11 drops Wallingford to Stamford! Whoo-Cheee!”
And Thursday:
“Think that dinner your Wife made last week was bad? Try this on for size, 12 drops Danielson to Torrington, CT! Good Luck! WHOO-CHEEEE!”
Obviously I am a role model for all who aspire to do more positive thinking!
My Dispatch office is very good at what it is they do, and I may be falling victim to their little ploy. I love the Outer Banks more then any place on Earth and I’m quite looking forward to a well deserved break with my Family. Vacations, like weekends, pass by way too fast, but I take comfort in the fact I am fortunate enough I have a job I won’t mind returning to. Even when they crack the whip and send me up to Connecticut!
Monday didn’t start out so well. While doing my Pre-trip inspection around 6:30 in the morning I found a flat tire on my truck. Fiddlesticks. It’s a bad time for this to happen, no one is around. I have to resort to calling our breakdown number which is basically like calling Triple A. I call by 7 and hurry up and wait, but I can’t just sit idle. If you’re gonna have to wait around you may as well be productive. I begin to polish my wheels with the intention of finishing one side- they were not bad to begin with, just not up to my sparkly high standards.
One of our mechanics showed up around 8 and he had me call road service again and see how much longer till help arrives. They said someone should be to me within an hour and I kindly replied to “cancel that.” Our guy called his guy and they said they would send a guy. This guy seemed to take awhile also, but finally showed up. I completed my goal of finishing one side of the wheels- actually I could have probably finished them all if ten thousand people wouldn’t have stopped by to chat.
Finally left the yard around 9:30- three hours later then planned, but these things tend to happen on Mondays. It wasn’t a huge deal, I had only four stops semi-close to home. I was done and back to Leesport with a good four hours left on my day.
Off To The Beach!
I call for my next load and SCORE! Five stops, Onley Va, to Seaford Delaware. I’m still dodging Connecticut, this is a miracle! Onley, Virginia is about 30 miles into Virginia on Route 13 and anywhere in Delaware, the Eastern Shore of Maryland and into Virginia rank right up there in my favorite places to go. The thirty thousand traffic lights can be tiresome but that’s only nitpicking.
When I get back to Leesport from my little local adventure I do the old switch-a-roo with trailers and hit the bricks for Delaware. I decided to overnight in Felton, Delaware and save the last fifty some miles for the morning.
Tuesday dawned beautiful and warm and as I made my way South on 13, I started thinking about this ride and one I would be traveling again on a Saturday morning, just a hair over three weeks from now. This is the exact route I’ll be going with the Wife and kids to the Outer Banks of North Carolina! I can’t mention what city since I have enough problems with the paparazzi and try to throw them off when I can.
It’s almost more enjoyable now, cruising along, things nice and quiet in a big pretty truck. I start to wonder if I couldn’t catch a load that ends up down there and just find a spot to hide the truck for a week- meet the Darn Wife and the fifty are-we-there-yet kids at our palatial mansion. Daydreaming is fun!
When I arrive at my first stop in Onley, I plug in our beach destination into the Garmin GPS just to see how close I am. One hundred, fifty nine miles. Roughly 3 hours and change. I’m way closer to our Vacation hotspot then I am home, perhaps I should just go there now and hang out till they show up? Enough daydreaming!
The five stops slide off effortlessly and I depart Seaford and hammer down back to Leesport. Getting close to the yard I have the familiar “call in for the next load anxiety”, but I finally make the call. Four stops, Oneota, New York, to Ithaca. I can’t believe my good fortune and this isn’t even a daydream!
New York and Preparing for Vermont! (And a Wise old Indian)
Hit up the fancy shower in Leesport and back on the road to Oneota. Nice ride, I could see rain coming down in the distance to my left as I slid up the North East Extension of the PA turnpike and was happy it wasn’t out to get me. There were a few showers I did have to punch through but the truck still looked good when I made my evening destination at a little truck stop just 9 miles shy of my first stop the next morning.
Good thing I was able to get that close to my first stop- Wednesday turned out to be a long day and I just barely made it back before my clock ran out. When I was empty in Ithaca I had to get my trailer loaded with empty glass bottles in Elmira Heights, NY. The place was unusually busy, normally I am in and out in 45 minutes or so but today it took two and half hours! I talked to a couple guys who were taking their loads halfway across the country, I was glad I was only going to Fogelsville, Pa, a whole 180 some miles. These loads are way too heavy, my back hurts till I get them where they go! I have no desire to pull something so heavy half way across the Country, furniture is the perfect weight thank-you very much.
I dropped the trailer at Sam Adams in Fogelsville and called for my next load and updated my arrival in Leesport as 8pm. “We have nothing on you and she’s done planning for the day. Call in the morning.”
What?
This almost definitely means I’ll be leaving in the early afternoon for somewhere far, far away. That’s good and I’m hoping for an upstate NY run, Plattsburgh perhaps? Either way, the weather looks to be spectacular in the entire Northeast, so I must prepare for what adventure awaits!
I picked up some fuel in Leesport and went back to the yard and disposed of my empty trailer. In the waning half hour or so of daylight I used my ‘quick detail’ spray to go over the entire truck. Most guys are happy to be home with some extra time off and make a run for the house with reckless abandon. My obsession keeps me here till 9pm. Not too bad, and the truck looked awesome!
Thursday morning I called in around 9 and was told to call back in 30 minutes. Not a problem- they’re just probably finding me a special load? Call back at 10 and bingo: 5 Stops in Vermont, Vergenees to Wolcott! Woo-Hoo! Vermont is in my chest of great states, along with New York, and Maine. Massachusetts? I could take it or leave it, just a wee bit too similar to it’s neighbor to the South- and you know how I feel about that! This load is one hundred percent a “do a little dance, make a little noise” kind of assignment!
I was out of the house by 11:30, way earlier then necessary, but I had unfinished work to do before I left. The truck was detailed and one side of the wheels were all sparkly but not the other- obviously unbalanced! I can’t drive that far feeling like that. I arrived early and finished the other side, and just for kicks added some Armor All tire gel. She looked ready! Check her out:
It may not make a lot of sense to people why I (and a few other obsessed drivers) do these things, especially when I was only driving Thursday and Friday only to leave the truck sit around on the weekend. Short story on why: so I can look happy.
True story: Last Summer I had the truck parked in a semi-secluded part of the yard. I had just finished detailing the truck and was giving the wheels a once over before I departed for where ever I was off to.
An Indian gentleman in full Indian garb (including that head thing) wondered over and began to make small talk. He had a bit of an accent and it was difficult to understand him at times- but he did comment on how nice it looked. Me, always trying to explain away my terrible obsession, rattled off a rambling few sentences about how it’s my first new truck, I want to take care of it, blah blah blah.
He pondered this for a few moments then said one of the most wisdom filled statements I had ever heard in my life:
"So, when you go down the road, you look happy!”
I stood there quiet for a moment, taking in the simplicity of his statement. I am happy, and me keeping my truck all dressed up is a direct reflection of that! This is a very wise Indian man standing by me.
Neither one of us spoke for what seemed like an eternity but in actuality was probably only a few seconds. What happened next was probably one of the weirder things that ever happened to me in Leesport, perhaps in my life.
We both began to smile, locked arms, looked straight into the camera and began to sing (and dance):
“If you’re happy and you know it
And you really want to show it;
If you’re happy and you know it
Shine your wheels!”
Strange, huh? I just hope that little ditty stays in your mind for all time the way it has in mine! In the end though, that’s the reason for all the time I spend keeping up my truck: I’m happy. If anyone ever see’s me driving around in a dull black truck with flat gray wheels, please ask me what’s wrong or at least schedule me some time with a therapist! Thank-you.
Quick side note: After I finished my wheels Thursday, I strolled over to a day cab parked near my truck. I was pretty sure it was driven by my friend (and one-time student) John. Don’t know why other then to look at dull wheels versus mine, but I noticed his windshield was extremely bug ridden. Since I like him and really enjoyed our time together I hopped up there and cleaned it to perfection. Bad idea.
When I was cleaning the outside I noticed the inside windshield needed a good cleaning also. Then I noticed the side windows, inside and out. Did them all. John is a shuttle driver, nothing but up to Mass. And back, most in the middle of the night. That’s a bit of a drab job to me, and I was hoping having clean windows would brighten his day and perhaps help pass that night wondering “who done it?” After I was done though, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure it was even John’s truck, so perhaps I freaked someone else out. If it was you, John, your welcome, hope I do windows okay, but remember you get what you pay for!
Vermont was a great time. I made notes on all kinds of stuff, like a truck stop that was only 18 miles from my first stop instead of 87 miles from the rest area on Interstate 87 where I stayed. I could have gained an hour for Friday if that had been listed in my truck stop directory. It may have came in handy, but probably not...
I also jotted down town names where I saw a couple of real cool looking properties for sale. I would go later to the Realtor website and check them out, see pictures of the inside, see if they’re affordable. I do this often and plan to start obtaining fancy abodes all over creation, that way I’ll always have a place to call home. I gave brief thought to taking on a new religion and adding a Wife to each place but I’ve never been much into organized religion and am pretty sure no one could top the job my Wife does taking care of me. Guess I’ll be living in squalor and going hungry at my fancy homes away from home!
Friday’s work done, called in empty- after heading West for a bit. I was in the boondocks, couldn’t even get a cell phone signal and facing a journey over 400 miles home. Dispatch sent me to pick up foam along the way, near Scranton, Pa.. No problem, but it was clear my arrival would be Saturday morning which is perfectly acceptable especially after such an enjoyable week.
Darn Girl Truckers!
I made it all the way to a rest area along 84, some 30 odd miles from the foam plant. My plan was to get up early, grab the foam and hit up the Pilot truck stop along 81, along the same road where I would pick up the turnpike to take me on home. If I am lucky enough to find a space at the Pilot (even on a Saturday morning) I could enjoy their spectacular coffee and breakfast at Wendy’s. Yummy.
I pulled in hoping for the best but it sure didn’t look good- trucks all over the place, even where they shouldn’t be, a tell tale sign I might just drive on without my Java. I did a quick loop around the joint to scope it out and ended up in a back row. I saw a spot in a corner I could possibly blind side into if I had to, and began to wait for a Swift truck to finish his backing maneuvers so I could set myself up. To my left was a line of trucks. While waiting I gave a quick glance to a US Express truck parked there, a sharp looking newer one, a fancy international I think. I accidently caught the glance of a pretty girl brushing her hair in the shotgun seat.
It was straight out of a movie- the way she was brushing her long hair and the way it glowed in the morning light. I’m talking a decent movie mind you, like “The Truckers of Madison County.” Anyway, she saw me and was probably admiring my pretty truck with real shiny wheels, or maybe even me with my movie star good looks, or both.
Either way, one thing was for sure, I was putting this truck in a hole somewhere on this property! I couldn’t just drive away now, because if I did, I was sure she’d be thinking “Poor boy in such a pretty truck- but he has no skills and left this little truck stop cause he got scared.” No way am I going to let some girl driver get away with that!
I swung around to the front and did a perfect job of blind siding the truck into a spot. It was to her right so she couldn’t see my expertise, but I made sure she saw ME as I strutted into the building with my chest all puffed out macho-man style. I glanced over and she saw me walk by so my mission was complete: I got my coffee and didn’t let some darn girl think I couldn’t do a difficult back!
In all seriousness though, I am a big fan of Women Truckers and I see more and more of them all the time. That’s a good thing, besides adding beauty to the road, I never heard one talk nonsense on the radio, or saw one driving like a maniac, tailgating an innocent family in a minivan. They bring a lot more to the table to improve the truckers image without even trying and I think it is because most have nothing to prove and don’t seek attention like some cowboys you sometimes see on the highways.
I’m a fellow with a good sense of humor, but sometimes I am concerned others don’t see my humor as humor. Take my five year old, Josh, for instance. The other weekend I was catching up on Ice Road Truckers and this year there is a girl on the show. She had a scene in the episode I was watching and I said “Look Josh, a pretty girl driving a big truck!”
He gave a quick glance at the TV and without thinking said “Girls don’t drive big trucks. And girls don’t fly airplanes.”
I was confused, does he know I am kidding when I talk about girls not doing stuff or he is kidding now, playing my game? I wasn’t sure, didn’t know what to say besides “That’s right Son, Girls stay home, cook, clean and take care of the boys like good little women should.” Tee-Hee. And right about now I feel like I am not winning any female fans, so lets move on, shall we?
I Know What They’re Up To!
We made it three weeks without Connecticut! Looking back on these last few weeks that have been Connecticut free, has really got me thinking, especially this past week.
Dispatch is up to something, and I know it. I’m on to their grand plan!
I can see them out there in a dimly lit room in Wisconsin, all hunched around a computer screen:
“Lets show him the road to the beach, then show him the absolute beauty of Vermont! Lets let him have so much fun that he’ll actually miss his job while he’s on vacation!”
It’s almost like they think I’m going to accidentally win the lottery while I’m away and never come back! But I know what they’re up to! The real fun starts when my week at the beach is over and I come back to work. Then they start cracking the whip, complete with the ‘whoo-cheee’ cracking sound!
Here’s how I imagine things will be when I come back from a glorious Outer Banks Vacation:
Call in to voice mail for Mondays Load:
“Hi Jason, hope you had fun at the beach, 10 drops for Monday, Danbury to Milford, CT.! Whoo-Cheee!”
Call in for Tuesday’s load:
“How was the water, warm enough? 8 drops Southington to Willington, CT.! Whoo-Cheee!”
Call in for Wednesday’s load:
“Enjoy that hot tub, did ya? 11 drops Wallingford to Stamford! Whoo-Cheee!”
And Thursday:
“Think that dinner your Wife made last week was bad? Try this on for size, 12 drops Danielson to Torrington, CT! Good Luck! WHOO-CHEEEE!”
Obviously I am a role model for all who aspire to do more positive thinking!
My Dispatch office is very good at what it is they do, and I may be falling victim to their little ploy. I love the Outer Banks more then any place on Earth and I’m quite looking forward to a well deserved break with my Family. Vacations, like weekends, pass by way too fast, but I take comfort in the fact I am fortunate enough I have a job I won’t mind returning to. Even when they crack the whip and send me up to Connecticut!
Comments