Driving With Emotional Intelligence
On President’s day this year, I was reading my local newspaper when I came across an article about emotional intelligence. Since it was Presidents Day, it had to do with our Presidents, past and present, and their respective levels of emotional intelligence, or EQ. Being a fan of the EQ quotient, I had to read it.
I just like the word ‘emotional intelligence’. Certain words (or phrases) have a positive connotation, like hearing the word “Daddy!” being yelled from small people when I walk in the door after being on the road a few days. Some others have a more negative feeling to them (especially when uttered from my dispatchers mouth), take for example “Pittsburgh” or worse yet, “Philadelphia”!
What really does the term ‘emotional intelligence’ mean anyway? Wikipedia’s basic definition is:
“The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions.”
It continues:
"Emotional Intelligence (EI), often measured as an Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ), describes a concept that involves the ability, capacity, skill or (in the case of the trait EI model) a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. Because it is a relatively new area of psychological research, the concept is constantly changing."
Fair enough. The Young Lady quoted in the article I read is Heather Uczynski, a local, well established Psychologist. She seems to think our newest President rates pretty high in EI, and even speculates some others before him that perhaps might have lacked EI just a wee bit, like George W. Bush (insert shock and surprise here). I tend to agree with Ms. Uczynski and I personally am thankful President Obama is well equipped with a healthy EQ and as I look around our world today I am saddened his predecessor lacked it almost completely.
According to an online test I subjected myself to, I rate fairly high in the EQ department myself though if you ask my Wife, she may beg to differ. Regardless, I became interested in the relationship between truck drivers and EI. I have come to some conclusions. Stick around, I’ll share.
First of all, I believe there is a much simpler definition to EI then the one provided by Wikipedia or your local psychologist. In my opinion, to be clinically diagnosed as having even a little EI means having the simple ability to put yourself aside. Take that little voice in your head, also known as an ego, and think about others a little more. Another part of that equation is being open to learning new things and the possibility of looking at things differently. Amazingly simple concepts, yet so many people I have met in my lifetime have difficulty with them. My saving grace is I have met and have had the pleasure to know more emotionally well equipped folks on both a professional and a personal level.
Truck drivers can all stand to gain from understanding and applying the concepts involving emotional intelligence. Take relationships for starters; most of us work alone for hours on end, if not for days. We have relationships to maintain with our dispatchers, customers and on occasion even a friendly Department of Transportation officer. Paying close attention to others emotions and how we express ours can make our lives easier as well as much more enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, another driver at our company related an incident he had over the phone with our planner. He apparently had some trouble expressing what he was feeling and did nothing much but yell and scream at her. Last time I saw him he was still not on speaking terms with her. Not exactly behavior that can help you win friends and influence mid-level management; in fact if I was the planner, I may have had a month-long lapse in EI and sent him to Pittsburgh, or Philadelphia, every day! I hope for his sake, and others like him, he can learn to manage his emotions just a little better. It’s so much easier to be happy then all closed up emotionally like he was.
On the other hand, very recently I ran into a different driver of ours at a truck stop in New York. We were both getting coffee and were chatting a bit while we tried our best to wake up. He also related a story about what he did for our entire dispatch crew at headquarters over the Holidays. He sent some sort of snack tray out there to headquarters, and I’m sure it was something that cost a half decent penny. All I could say was “Wow” while thinking how sad it was that I didn’t even send a card. He leaned in close and explained just why he did it: “I never expected to make as much money as I did last year, especially the way things are these days. They were looking out for me and I wanted to thank them for that.” Ladies and Gents, here we have happy, well adjusted driver who is not afraid to show his emotions! We have in front of us a highly equipped EQ Winner!
Don’t get me wrong, most drivers on the road today do possess a fair amount of emotional intelligence, even if they are not aware of it. If we can get along well with management, our customers and who ever else we need to deal with in a days work, we’re that much closer to internal peace and that in turn can create a safer driver out on the open road.
Once we have a good EQ level and hit the road, it’s not too hard to spot the EI deficient drivers by observing their actions. We see things like no turn signals, unsafe lane changes, disobeying speed limits by hundreds of miles an hour, and the Granddaddy of them all: Tailgating. Nothing annoys me more(and other drivers, I’m sure) then a tractor trailer that is two inches off the rear bumper of a four wheeler (A.K.A.: cars) or any vehicle for that matter, up to and including UFO’s. A truck following that closely to a car for instance, shows a complete lack of understanding of how it makes the occupants feel, lest we not forget just how unsafe it is. Surely when these offenders are not getting paid by the mile, they drive around in cars- have they forgotten what a truck that close feels like when they see it in their rear view mirror? Next time you see this behavior try this: Hop on the CB and state “Driver, by following that car that closely your not demonstrating an acceptable level of emotional intelligence.” He (or she, emotions are equal opportunity) might be so confused by what you said they will likely slow down and may even have to pull over to think about what it means!
I’m obviously a believer in the emotional intelligence phenomena and I find it beneficial not just in my professional life but in my personal life! Heck, I even remembered flowers for the Wife on Valentines Day this year, making us both happy. I am far from total emotional enlightenment, but I am working on it every day. I find it helpful to ask myself questions to check how I am doing at any given moment. When I wake up behind the wheel, for instance, I may ask myself “How long has it been snowing?” followed by “Am I following this vehicle to close?” and perhaps even “Where the heck am I, why didn’t the GPS wake me up!” Sometimes I even have to ask myself what implications it may have on my aforementioned Wife’s emotions if I accidentally spend forty bucks of our money on a truck wash? I’ve done that before without thinking and it hasn’t exactly been good, but I’m learning, and working on that. Folks, look how far I have come using just a little bit of emotional intelligence: I’ve learned if I can keep her happy, everything else is a piece of cake!
On President’s day this year, I was reading my local newspaper when I came across an article about emotional intelligence. Since it was Presidents Day, it had to do with our Presidents, past and present, and their respective levels of emotional intelligence, or EQ. Being a fan of the EQ quotient, I had to read it.
I just like the word ‘emotional intelligence’. Certain words (or phrases) have a positive connotation, like hearing the word “Daddy!” being yelled from small people when I walk in the door after being on the road a few days. Some others have a more negative feeling to them (especially when uttered from my dispatchers mouth), take for example “Pittsburgh” or worse yet, “Philadelphia”!
What really does the term ‘emotional intelligence’ mean anyway? Wikipedia’s basic definition is:
“The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions.”
It continues:
"Emotional Intelligence (EI), often measured as an Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ), describes a concept that involves the ability, capacity, skill or (in the case of the trait EI model) a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. Because it is a relatively new area of psychological research, the concept is constantly changing."
Fair enough. The Young Lady quoted in the article I read is Heather Uczynski, a local, well established Psychologist. She seems to think our newest President rates pretty high in EI, and even speculates some others before him that perhaps might have lacked EI just a wee bit, like George W. Bush (insert shock and surprise here). I tend to agree with Ms. Uczynski and I personally am thankful President Obama is well equipped with a healthy EQ and as I look around our world today I am saddened his predecessor lacked it almost completely.
According to an online test I subjected myself to, I rate fairly high in the EQ department myself though if you ask my Wife, she may beg to differ. Regardless, I became interested in the relationship between truck drivers and EI. I have come to some conclusions. Stick around, I’ll share.
First of all, I believe there is a much simpler definition to EI then the one provided by Wikipedia or your local psychologist. In my opinion, to be clinically diagnosed as having even a little EI means having the simple ability to put yourself aside. Take that little voice in your head, also known as an ego, and think about others a little more. Another part of that equation is being open to learning new things and the possibility of looking at things differently. Amazingly simple concepts, yet so many people I have met in my lifetime have difficulty with them. My saving grace is I have met and have had the pleasure to know more emotionally well equipped folks on both a professional and a personal level.
Truck drivers can all stand to gain from understanding and applying the concepts involving emotional intelligence. Take relationships for starters; most of us work alone for hours on end, if not for days. We have relationships to maintain with our dispatchers, customers and on occasion even a friendly Department of Transportation officer. Paying close attention to others emotions and how we express ours can make our lives easier as well as much more enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, another driver at our company related an incident he had over the phone with our planner. He apparently had some trouble expressing what he was feeling and did nothing much but yell and scream at her. Last time I saw him he was still not on speaking terms with her. Not exactly behavior that can help you win friends and influence mid-level management; in fact if I was the planner, I may have had a month-long lapse in EI and sent him to Pittsburgh, or Philadelphia, every day! I hope for his sake, and others like him, he can learn to manage his emotions just a little better. It’s so much easier to be happy then all closed up emotionally like he was.
On the other hand, very recently I ran into a different driver of ours at a truck stop in New York. We were both getting coffee and were chatting a bit while we tried our best to wake up. He also related a story about what he did for our entire dispatch crew at headquarters over the Holidays. He sent some sort of snack tray out there to headquarters, and I’m sure it was something that cost a half decent penny. All I could say was “Wow” while thinking how sad it was that I didn’t even send a card. He leaned in close and explained just why he did it: “I never expected to make as much money as I did last year, especially the way things are these days. They were looking out for me and I wanted to thank them for that.” Ladies and Gents, here we have happy, well adjusted driver who is not afraid to show his emotions! We have in front of us a highly equipped EQ Winner!
Don’t get me wrong, most drivers on the road today do possess a fair amount of emotional intelligence, even if they are not aware of it. If we can get along well with management, our customers and who ever else we need to deal with in a days work, we’re that much closer to internal peace and that in turn can create a safer driver out on the open road.
Once we have a good EQ level and hit the road, it’s not too hard to spot the EI deficient drivers by observing their actions. We see things like no turn signals, unsafe lane changes, disobeying speed limits by hundreds of miles an hour, and the Granddaddy of them all: Tailgating. Nothing annoys me more(and other drivers, I’m sure) then a tractor trailer that is two inches off the rear bumper of a four wheeler (A.K.A.: cars) or any vehicle for that matter, up to and including UFO’s. A truck following that closely to a car for instance, shows a complete lack of understanding of how it makes the occupants feel, lest we not forget just how unsafe it is. Surely when these offenders are not getting paid by the mile, they drive around in cars- have they forgotten what a truck that close feels like when they see it in their rear view mirror? Next time you see this behavior try this: Hop on the CB and state “Driver, by following that car that closely your not demonstrating an acceptable level of emotional intelligence.” He (or she, emotions are equal opportunity) might be so confused by what you said they will likely slow down and may even have to pull over to think about what it means!
I’m obviously a believer in the emotional intelligence phenomena and I find it beneficial not just in my professional life but in my personal life! Heck, I even remembered flowers for the Wife on Valentines Day this year, making us both happy. I am far from total emotional enlightenment, but I am working on it every day. I find it helpful to ask myself questions to check how I am doing at any given moment. When I wake up behind the wheel, for instance, I may ask myself “How long has it been snowing?” followed by “Am I following this vehicle to close?” and perhaps even “Where the heck am I, why didn’t the GPS wake me up!” Sometimes I even have to ask myself what implications it may have on my aforementioned Wife’s emotions if I accidentally spend forty bucks of our money on a truck wash? I’ve done that before without thinking and it hasn’t exactly been good, but I’m learning, and working on that. Folks, look how far I have come using just a little bit of emotional intelligence: I’ve learned if I can keep her happy, everything else is a piece of cake!
Comments