The Magic Headline: It’s been hot!!!
PUT ON SOME GOOD MUSIC
Gotta love music! I have a whole selection to choose from on my Laptop, slash GPS, slash world famous writing machine. My main play list is somewhere around fifteen hours! I can drive all day long and not hear the same song twice. Sometimes, however, I do want to hear something more then once. I usually have a song of the week, if you want to know what it is at any given moment, give my house a call, whom ever answers will probably know what it is. If I ain’t singing it out loud for everyone’s enjoyment then it’s been playing over and over on the laptop! For some reason my tribe has no taste in music and the room suddenly clears.
It’s amazing the power music can have, it has this amazing ability to take one back in time. One song might remind me of a girl I once knew while another could take me back to a certain time, or even just a short moment in time that has long passed. Quite often, my ‘Song of the week’ is something new, brand new even and other times it could be from as far away as the sixties or seventies. My song this week is from the past (try 1980) and I found it by accident.
I’ll admit, some of my selections are what one may classify as ‘Guilty Pleasure songs’. A Guilty Pleasure song might be played from the comfort and privacy of my cab but I dare not let anyone hear it at let’s say, a truck stop for example! Nor would I admit to listening to such songs, except for here because there is a story around it. Yes, this weeks song is one of those.
On some downtime overnight last week, I was scanning songs where I get my music and ran across one I totally forgot about. "Magic" by none other then the great Olivia Newton-John, or as I like to call her ‘Miss O-JO’. Helps to bring her up to date don’t you think? I got the song and played it, and swoosh, it took me back a long time ago! I remember this girl! When I was just a wee little boy I had a crush on her and perhaps even had a picture or two hanging on my wall. Speaking of pictures, I am pretty sure I remember being at a friends house once. I was reading this article about how to invest money since I was all about turning my meager allowance into thousands of dollars, had to turn some pages to where the article continued and HOLY SMOKES! I accidentally ran into a few pictures of Olivia completely nude! What a Shocker! I thought I was reading The Financial Times but clearly it could have been Playboy!
Anyway, it was neat to hear something from an artist I totally forgot about, that doesn’t happen to often; though it might happen more as I rack up the years of my life. It was a neat little experience, and I’ll admit to liking the song all over again and adding it into heavy rotation on my play list. If, however, anyone comes up to me and asks me about this, or even mocks me in any way, I’ll stare back at you blankly and ask "What are you talking about?" Then I’ll go back about my business!
MY BUSINESS
Spring’s time has just about run it course for this year, and already a few days have been over a million degrees. Monday and Tuesday were absolutely brutal. Monday I left on a thirteen stop, two day trip. I started near DC, had a few around the Capital region and ended up in California, Maryland on Tuesday. Sounds like a bad deal from the looks of it, but actually it’s not so bad. I’d rather get out many times, throw a few pieces outta the box, then sit in the A/C again to recover.
I had ten stops for Monday and Three for Tuesday morning. Well, it would have been ten for Monday but somebody somewhere made a boo-boo and put a stop in there that was not open Monday, or Tuesday for that matter. That never happened before so it’s acceptable, but it sure involved a lot of unnecessary sweating moving that stops pieces aside, then working around it the rest of the trip. Talk about sweating! The inside of the trailer was sweltering hot- I accidentally burned myself over a hundred times on those darn metal thingys where we put our load straps.
The last stop on Monday was the worst, 55 pieces and no loading dock. I had to get all of them to the tail and hope I made it out alive. I took a bottle of water in with me and it was gone within a few pieces, all in all though it wasn’t too awful. Due to my locale, I needed to get a hotel for the night. I was reading the paper and once again came across an article that spoke of someone’s lips moving which in turn made the markets move. I think this particular one was some Fed Finance dude who said something along the lines of ‘ he will not stand by and let the dollar slide more’ or something like that. The article then mentioned the markets reacted to his comments. That’s the power I want! In the future you might be reading the paper and come across something like this:
"In other news, J The Trucker commented earlier today about just how brutally hot it’s been and even mentioned sweating unnecessarily sending shower prices at truck stops across the nation to all time highs."
Check your paper folks, it could be coming! The heat did come to end by Tuesday evening and I enjoyed a front row seat on interstate 80 heading West towards my first stop for Wednesday in the Western PA region. The sky in front of me was turning scary black and the wind began to pick up. One guy on the CB said it’s best to pull over as we were coming up on a rest area, another guy said something about not seeing ‘any tornado.’ I didn’t know anything about a tornado, but I sure as heck wasn’t going to stop somewhere and wait for one! With the storm moving at me and me at the storm, I had a good chance of punching through it rather quickly. It got a little hairy for only five miles or so while traveling at a greatly reduced speed. There was an initial two or three minutes where it was so windy I thought I made the wrong choice by continuing on, but it all was over rather quick. I watched the lightning bolts in my side mirror and thought of some big dude up there with a broom just sweeping the heat and humidity right out of his path. I watched the temp gauge fall the rest of the ride and by the time I parked for the night it was plenty cool enough to make for good sleeping weather. First I got a ten dollar shower, seems kind of steep right? Just wait!
Wednesday was pretty smooth sailing and much more comfortable. I finished way the heck up in Jamestown, New York and set my sights on Leesport. I wouldn’t have any hours to speak of once I arrived and was quite happy to be able to have a night at home, and also curious as what Thursday may bring. Where would I be going? It’ll be kind of late and I’m running a little shy on miles....perhaps I’ll score a far away in West Virginia run for Friday? Could I be so lucky?
I got around to making the call with only about an hour to go til I hit Leesport. I was less then thrilled to learn I had six stops, on a pup trailer, in the City of Brotherly Love. Pup trailer or not, I’m not real keen on going into Philly. I haven’t been there much, and even when I went there in my car I became utterly confused and uncomfortable. It’s like it’s my own personal Bermuda Triangle or something.
Why me!?! We have local guys that know that city like the back of their hands! Whine and whine I did till I realized it was probably the best load that fit my needs, and heck, six stops pays pretty well. It is on a pup, how awful could it possibly be? Here's my truck and the Pup trailer:
This was a perfect moment when the song of the week must be played; it’ll surely take my thoughts away from the impending doom about to occur! That’s right, I reached over to my laptop and scanned through till I hit my song of the week by Miss O-JO. For some reason I heard the lyrics clearer and with more meaning then ever before!
"There’s no other road to take;
You won’t make a mistake;
I’ll be guiding you."
Oh. That’s comforting, She said I won’t mistake and she’ll guide me. How fantastic! Things are gonna be great! On to the song’s hook:
"Have to believe we are magic;
Nothing can stand in our way."
With all due respect Miss O-JO, what are you saying? I believe we’re magic and all but I’m not so sure I’m good enough at it to think nothing will stand in our way! How are we going to use magic to make the truck smaller so it fits under a low bridge, or worse yet, how will we handle any unsavory characters with ill intentions! Tell me please!
Enough already. I picked up a printout of where the stops were and went on home to plan the darn thing. I also made the decision to carry along just enough anxiety to keep me on my toes and nothing more. A little bit is normal and can help keep you safe; anything more is useless and adds unnecessary weight to one’s soul. If any truck driver tells you he doesn’t have a little anxiety going into big unfamiliar metropolitan areas he (or she) is lying.
I got a goods night sleep and was ready for the fun in the morning. Read on folks, because this trip was all about fun!
Things started to fall apart when I got to the yard Thursday morning. I realized I somehow planned the route, stop to stop, in reverse. Not a big deal, only a sure sign of how things would go from that point on.
My first two stops were not to awful, and I actually had been to both on my previous trip down there. At number two I had to wait around a bit (like a half hour bit) till I got going again.
Stop three was approximately three miles away. I made my way to Route 1 North and by the time I turned onto Route 1 there was only a mile left till I arrived. This road is a six lane road, three on either side. I was in the far left hand lane since there was only a mile till I arrived at the store which would be on my LEFT. Normally I refrain from the left lane till I’m under a half mile; in this case I was in heavy city traffic and even though I had a pup, I still had the mentality of having something much longer and didn’t really want to fight traffic to get the lane back. There were no signs saying I couldn’t be there, so I stayed. I would be corrected.
Somewhere around the second red light I pulled up to, I spotted some fuzz on motorcycles approaching in the middle lane. I saw the guy closest to me come uncomfortably close to my passengers side door. What the? All of the sudden BANG BANG BANG!
He knocked on my door so hard I was concerned he may have actually dented it or at the very least scratched it up! Passenger side window goes down, he stands up and begins yelling.
"WHERE ARE YOU TURNING?!?"
I told him I don’t know, I’m looking for a furniture store up the road on the left hand side. I also know from my redundant GPS systems (that I hope he does not see but are in plain sight) that it is exactly one mile away. I didn’t want to clue him in on that just in case a mile seemed to far to him to be setting up for a left hand turn.
He continued: "WHY ARE YOU IN THE LEFT LANE??"
"Well because I don’t know where I ..."
"WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!"
I was trying to say I didn’t know where I was or where the place was, hoping to win some sympathy, and I think he heard me as I leaned way over and yelled at the top of my lungs. There was a ton of noise between the truck engine and the engine of the Hardly-a-Motorcycle.
"GET OUT OF THAT LANE NOW. I GUARANTEE IF I STOP YOU IT’S GOING TO COST YOU TWO TO THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS!"
What? Are you kidding me? Seems like an awful lot so I answered back with the first thing to come to my mind:
"OH Really, tough guy? You gotta catch me first, and if you do I’ll GUARANTEE YOU I’ll be giving you a bill for two or three thousand dollars to fix any dents or scratches you might have put in the door of my baby!"
Really, Lot Lizards have knocked so much quieter and that wakes me from a sleep! Was it really necessary to hit my truck so hard? And no, I didn’t actually say that to him, I figured he was after all giving me a break by warning me. I have the utmost respect for the Police and the job they do. Besides, sometimes they can be a big help when I’m in a pickle, like I would be soon!
After hitting that stop ticket free, I called ahead to my next customer to verify my directions. "Oh sure you can go that way" said the girl on the phone ever so gleefully. Just another two miles, this should be a piece of cake I’m thinking!
The first thing that concerned me as I drove along were wires all over the place above my head. They looked a lot like trolley wires, what year is this? They seemed plenty high so I wasn’t worried at all as I drove on. As I rounded a slight bend in the road there were buses coming from all directions. I had my window down to try and help me breathe better and one of the bus drivers yelled out as he passed "Watch out for the wires!" They are hard to miss buddy, I thought to myself and wondered why he would say such a thing. Besides, I never saw a sign warning of low clearance type issues.
A short distance later a bridge type structure appeared above the road, running the entire length of the road as far as I could see. Now I’m getting worried. All of a sudden there is a sign: Caution low clearance 12'6" and if that wasn’t fun enough, it also said something about live wires with somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000 volts! I go from worried to terrified in the blink of an eye. I have a seriously disturbing feeling I’m only moments away from making headlines myself!
"Folks, we have breaking news- what your seeing is a live view from Chopper six hovering over Kensington Avenue. We’re told those sparks you see, are caused by an Ashley Furniture truck stuck underneath the bridge. One of our reporters managed to reach the driver by cell phone but he seemed rather incoherent muttering something about how some singer from the eighties was supposed to guide him and then he went on yelling repeatedly "Where’s the magic?" Rescue workers are on the scene including two very angry motorcycle cops and we’re told power should be restored to the entire city by midnight. Update at 11! "
Right before I reached up to pull the brakes, I took a final look around at my options. What I saw, directly off my left side was a sight I can only describe as ‘Magic’. There was a big empty parking lot, with plenty of space in back to pull in and turn around. I went in there and set the brakes then took a look at my laptop GPS which gives a me splendid view of all the streets around me. I came up with a plan, which isn’t good enough since my last plan put me in this predicament to begin with. I saw a Police car parked near the road and went to have a look see.
As I rounded the corner of a building there were three Cops standing there chatting. I told them where I going and they gave me directions that were exactly what I came up with on the laptop. So there you have it, I had not only a last minute place to park and Authorities to ask for help. That is magic!
I arrived at the stop safe and sound and quickly departed for the second to last stop. We’re getting close now! Unfortunately there was more last minute weaving off one street onto another. Just when I thought I had it made, something popped up that required a quick turn. I ran underneath another one of those bridges for a bit because I saw a big truck coming from the other direction. And at the last minute I spot a sign that said trucks over 13'3'’ with arrows in either direction. Two or three miles can seem like a hundred when your detouring all over the place.
I sure was thankful this was my second to last stop since I felt I was coming unglued. I was like Tom Cruise in Top Gun (only better looking and without the fancy jet). I came into this mission as cool as a cucumber just like Maverick at the start of the movie. Now I was more like Maverick in his post Goose missions- I wasn’t breathing properly, squinting a whole lot and constantly muttering "this isn’t right, this isn’t right."
I had just about enough of this city! Thankfully, I had a fairly easy time finding my last stop, right on Broad Street. After that, it was straight up to Route 1 which is a highway that took me up to a real highway, Interstate 76 and on my way home. I could finally breathe normally, and rejoiced that I made it out alive and unscathed. After running music free all day, I reached over and hit the play button on the laptop. Sure enough, my song of the week, Magic, comes on due to it’s being placed in heavy rotation. Once again, the lyrics become clear and seem to have special meaning! She Sings:
"From where I stand; You are Home free.
Planets aligned so rare;
There is promise in the air!"
Well she’s right about one thing- there is promise in the air. I’m not exactly ‘home free’ yet, I still have Friday to deal with and who knows, I could be in the Bronx tomorrow!
I was back in Leesport at 2:30 in the afternoon and learned I had 9 stops way, way the heck up in Lowell Mass and ending in Portsmouth, New Hampshire! Mass (I’m not literate enough to spell out the whole name) isn’t always a ball of fun, but it’s much better than where I just came from!
I need to wrap this up as I fear it’s starting to seem like real time! I went up to the truck stop in Willington, Connecticut and shut down for the night. After a high priced shower (man the prices are rising fast!) I put a call into the Wife and shortly thereafter it became real clear how much that days adventures drained me.
As I was talking to her I went to look for my calculator to do some math- and I kid you not, I went into a panic that I couldn’t find my cell phone (which is also my calculator). I’m going "Hun, I lost my phone, it was right here a moment ago." I’m rummaging through my cab trying to find it when my Wife says, "Uh Jason, your talking to me on your phone."
What?
Oh boy. I am obviously completely mentally shot. She ordered me to bed immediately and I obediently complied. Well first I hung up and did my math, then I went to bed. I slept well.
All of Fridays nine stops were finished by three in the afternoon and it was a much easier day. I had been to many of the stops before so that came in handy. There is this one place in Haverhill that takes some work getting into. We deliver in the back of the store, right along the river. To say it is tight back there would be an understatement, check out this picture of a bridge you need to go under to get out:
Yeah, it’s tall enough but just barely wide enough. It’s purely a first gear, let it idle along type of deal. You could probably fit a toothpick between either mirror as you pass the walls!
Well, that is all that has been going on from my spot in the world.
Oh wait, I almost forgot- I didn’t quite have enough hours to make it all the way home Friday night. Perhaps if I would have driven non-stop from Point A to point B I could have made it. I like things like food breaks and potty breaks and I take the time to do them. I run comfortable, not insane like some people might. The entire family would be crashed out by the time I got home anyhow.
I was becoming tired and stopped at the last service plaza on the New York Thruway, right before 287. Luckily, since it was Friday I found a space very easily and even got to sleep with two women.
Whoops! Whoa! Slow down a minute, let me clarify that! I meant to say I slept next to two pretty women!
Shoot, it is just not coming out right! Okay let me try it again- I slept in my truck next to another truck that happened to contain two pretty women.
When I pulled in Friday night there was a lime green CFI (Now Conway) truck parked next to my spot. I thought it to be an odd color since most of them are usually red, but thought nothing more of it. When I awoke in the morning and opened my curtains I saw the two pretty girls climbing out of it. Ah, now the color made sense, I think it matched them well. I would have complimented them on it but I wasn’t feeling real pretty myself.
It was quite warm over night (Where is my darn APU?) and I felt a need to go home straight away and hit the rainroom (some call it a shower)! I waited till they were away from the vehicle and quickly snapped up a picture. Pretty truck, for a girl anyhow! Okay, that really is it for now. I’m home free now! I’m here only for the required 36-hour break then it’s off to New York tomorrow evening. I’m looking forward to another week of magic!
Gotta love music! I have a whole selection to choose from on my Laptop, slash GPS, slash world famous writing machine. My main play list is somewhere around fifteen hours! I can drive all day long and not hear the same song twice. Sometimes, however, I do want to hear something more then once. I usually have a song of the week, if you want to know what it is at any given moment, give my house a call, whom ever answers will probably know what it is. If I ain’t singing it out loud for everyone’s enjoyment then it’s been playing over and over on the laptop! For some reason my tribe has no taste in music and the room suddenly clears.
It’s amazing the power music can have, it has this amazing ability to take one back in time. One song might remind me of a girl I once knew while another could take me back to a certain time, or even just a short moment in time that has long passed. Quite often, my ‘Song of the week’ is something new, brand new even and other times it could be from as far away as the sixties or seventies. My song this week is from the past (try 1980) and I found it by accident.
I’ll admit, some of my selections are what one may classify as ‘Guilty Pleasure songs’. A Guilty Pleasure song might be played from the comfort and privacy of my cab but I dare not let anyone hear it at let’s say, a truck stop for example! Nor would I admit to listening to such songs, except for here because there is a story around it. Yes, this weeks song is one of those.
On some downtime overnight last week, I was scanning songs where I get my music and ran across one I totally forgot about. "Magic" by none other then the great Olivia Newton-John, or as I like to call her ‘Miss O-JO’. Helps to bring her up to date don’t you think? I got the song and played it, and swoosh, it took me back a long time ago! I remember this girl! When I was just a wee little boy I had a crush on her and perhaps even had a picture or two hanging on my wall. Speaking of pictures, I am pretty sure I remember being at a friends house once. I was reading this article about how to invest money since I was all about turning my meager allowance into thousands of dollars, had to turn some pages to where the article continued and HOLY SMOKES! I accidentally ran into a few pictures of Olivia completely nude! What a Shocker! I thought I was reading The Financial Times but clearly it could have been Playboy!
Anyway, it was neat to hear something from an artist I totally forgot about, that doesn’t happen to often; though it might happen more as I rack up the years of my life. It was a neat little experience, and I’ll admit to liking the song all over again and adding it into heavy rotation on my play list. If, however, anyone comes up to me and asks me about this, or even mocks me in any way, I’ll stare back at you blankly and ask "What are you talking about?" Then I’ll go back about my business!
MY BUSINESS
Spring’s time has just about run it course for this year, and already a few days have been over a million degrees. Monday and Tuesday were absolutely brutal. Monday I left on a thirteen stop, two day trip. I started near DC, had a few around the Capital region and ended up in California, Maryland on Tuesday. Sounds like a bad deal from the looks of it, but actually it’s not so bad. I’d rather get out many times, throw a few pieces outta the box, then sit in the A/C again to recover.
I had ten stops for Monday and Three for Tuesday morning. Well, it would have been ten for Monday but somebody somewhere made a boo-boo and put a stop in there that was not open Monday, or Tuesday for that matter. That never happened before so it’s acceptable, but it sure involved a lot of unnecessary sweating moving that stops pieces aside, then working around it the rest of the trip. Talk about sweating! The inside of the trailer was sweltering hot- I accidentally burned myself over a hundred times on those darn metal thingys where we put our load straps.
The last stop on Monday was the worst, 55 pieces and no loading dock. I had to get all of them to the tail and hope I made it out alive. I took a bottle of water in with me and it was gone within a few pieces, all in all though it wasn’t too awful. Due to my locale, I needed to get a hotel for the night. I was reading the paper and once again came across an article that spoke of someone’s lips moving which in turn made the markets move. I think this particular one was some Fed Finance dude who said something along the lines of ‘ he will not stand by and let the dollar slide more’ or something like that. The article then mentioned the markets reacted to his comments. That’s the power I want! In the future you might be reading the paper and come across something like this:
"In other news, J The Trucker commented earlier today about just how brutally hot it’s been and even mentioned sweating unnecessarily sending shower prices at truck stops across the nation to all time highs."
Check your paper folks, it could be coming! The heat did come to end by Tuesday evening and I enjoyed a front row seat on interstate 80 heading West towards my first stop for Wednesday in the Western PA region. The sky in front of me was turning scary black and the wind began to pick up. One guy on the CB said it’s best to pull over as we were coming up on a rest area, another guy said something about not seeing ‘any tornado.’ I didn’t know anything about a tornado, but I sure as heck wasn’t going to stop somewhere and wait for one! With the storm moving at me and me at the storm, I had a good chance of punching through it rather quickly. It got a little hairy for only five miles or so while traveling at a greatly reduced speed. There was an initial two or three minutes where it was so windy I thought I made the wrong choice by continuing on, but it all was over rather quick. I watched the lightning bolts in my side mirror and thought of some big dude up there with a broom just sweeping the heat and humidity right out of his path. I watched the temp gauge fall the rest of the ride and by the time I parked for the night it was plenty cool enough to make for good sleeping weather. First I got a ten dollar shower, seems kind of steep right? Just wait!
Wednesday was pretty smooth sailing and much more comfortable. I finished way the heck up in Jamestown, New York and set my sights on Leesport. I wouldn’t have any hours to speak of once I arrived and was quite happy to be able to have a night at home, and also curious as what Thursday may bring. Where would I be going? It’ll be kind of late and I’m running a little shy on miles....perhaps I’ll score a far away in West Virginia run for Friday? Could I be so lucky?
I got around to making the call with only about an hour to go til I hit Leesport. I was less then thrilled to learn I had six stops, on a pup trailer, in the City of Brotherly Love. Pup trailer or not, I’m not real keen on going into Philly. I haven’t been there much, and even when I went there in my car I became utterly confused and uncomfortable. It’s like it’s my own personal Bermuda Triangle or something.
Why me!?! We have local guys that know that city like the back of their hands! Whine and whine I did till I realized it was probably the best load that fit my needs, and heck, six stops pays pretty well. It is on a pup, how awful could it possibly be? Here's my truck and the Pup trailer:
This was a perfect moment when the song of the week must be played; it’ll surely take my thoughts away from the impending doom about to occur! That’s right, I reached over to my laptop and scanned through till I hit my song of the week by Miss O-JO. For some reason I heard the lyrics clearer and with more meaning then ever before!
"There’s no other road to take;
You won’t make a mistake;
I’ll be guiding you."
Oh. That’s comforting, She said I won’t mistake and she’ll guide me. How fantastic! Things are gonna be great! On to the song’s hook:
"Have to believe we are magic;
Nothing can stand in our way."
With all due respect Miss O-JO, what are you saying? I believe we’re magic and all but I’m not so sure I’m good enough at it to think nothing will stand in our way! How are we going to use magic to make the truck smaller so it fits under a low bridge, or worse yet, how will we handle any unsavory characters with ill intentions! Tell me please!
Enough already. I picked up a printout of where the stops were and went on home to plan the darn thing. I also made the decision to carry along just enough anxiety to keep me on my toes and nothing more. A little bit is normal and can help keep you safe; anything more is useless and adds unnecessary weight to one’s soul. If any truck driver tells you he doesn’t have a little anxiety going into big unfamiliar metropolitan areas he (or she) is lying.
I got a goods night sleep and was ready for the fun in the morning. Read on folks, because this trip was all about fun!
Things started to fall apart when I got to the yard Thursday morning. I realized I somehow planned the route, stop to stop, in reverse. Not a big deal, only a sure sign of how things would go from that point on.
My first two stops were not to awful, and I actually had been to both on my previous trip down there. At number two I had to wait around a bit (like a half hour bit) till I got going again.
Stop three was approximately three miles away. I made my way to Route 1 North and by the time I turned onto Route 1 there was only a mile left till I arrived. This road is a six lane road, three on either side. I was in the far left hand lane since there was only a mile till I arrived at the store which would be on my LEFT. Normally I refrain from the left lane till I’m under a half mile; in this case I was in heavy city traffic and even though I had a pup, I still had the mentality of having something much longer and didn’t really want to fight traffic to get the lane back. There were no signs saying I couldn’t be there, so I stayed. I would be corrected.
Somewhere around the second red light I pulled up to, I spotted some fuzz on motorcycles approaching in the middle lane. I saw the guy closest to me come uncomfortably close to my passengers side door. What the? All of the sudden BANG BANG BANG!
He knocked on my door so hard I was concerned he may have actually dented it or at the very least scratched it up! Passenger side window goes down, he stands up and begins yelling.
"WHERE ARE YOU TURNING?!?"
I told him I don’t know, I’m looking for a furniture store up the road on the left hand side. I also know from my redundant GPS systems (that I hope he does not see but are in plain sight) that it is exactly one mile away. I didn’t want to clue him in on that just in case a mile seemed to far to him to be setting up for a left hand turn.
He continued: "WHY ARE YOU IN THE LEFT LANE??"
"Well because I don’t know where I ..."
"WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!"
I was trying to say I didn’t know where I was or where the place was, hoping to win some sympathy, and I think he heard me as I leaned way over and yelled at the top of my lungs. There was a ton of noise between the truck engine and the engine of the Hardly-a-Motorcycle.
"GET OUT OF THAT LANE NOW. I GUARANTEE IF I STOP YOU IT’S GOING TO COST YOU TWO TO THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS!"
What? Are you kidding me? Seems like an awful lot so I answered back with the first thing to come to my mind:
"OH Really, tough guy? You gotta catch me first, and if you do I’ll GUARANTEE YOU I’ll be giving you a bill for two or three thousand dollars to fix any dents or scratches you might have put in the door of my baby!"
Really, Lot Lizards have knocked so much quieter and that wakes me from a sleep! Was it really necessary to hit my truck so hard? And no, I didn’t actually say that to him, I figured he was after all giving me a break by warning me. I have the utmost respect for the Police and the job they do. Besides, sometimes they can be a big help when I’m in a pickle, like I would be soon!
After hitting that stop ticket free, I called ahead to my next customer to verify my directions. "Oh sure you can go that way" said the girl on the phone ever so gleefully. Just another two miles, this should be a piece of cake I’m thinking!
The first thing that concerned me as I drove along were wires all over the place above my head. They looked a lot like trolley wires, what year is this? They seemed plenty high so I wasn’t worried at all as I drove on. As I rounded a slight bend in the road there were buses coming from all directions. I had my window down to try and help me breathe better and one of the bus drivers yelled out as he passed "Watch out for the wires!" They are hard to miss buddy, I thought to myself and wondered why he would say such a thing. Besides, I never saw a sign warning of low clearance type issues.
A short distance later a bridge type structure appeared above the road, running the entire length of the road as far as I could see. Now I’m getting worried. All of a sudden there is a sign: Caution low clearance 12'6" and if that wasn’t fun enough, it also said something about live wires with somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000 volts! I go from worried to terrified in the blink of an eye. I have a seriously disturbing feeling I’m only moments away from making headlines myself!
"Folks, we have breaking news- what your seeing is a live view from Chopper six hovering over Kensington Avenue. We’re told those sparks you see, are caused by an Ashley Furniture truck stuck underneath the bridge. One of our reporters managed to reach the driver by cell phone but he seemed rather incoherent muttering something about how some singer from the eighties was supposed to guide him and then he went on yelling repeatedly "Where’s the magic?" Rescue workers are on the scene including two very angry motorcycle cops and we’re told power should be restored to the entire city by midnight. Update at 11! "
Right before I reached up to pull the brakes, I took a final look around at my options. What I saw, directly off my left side was a sight I can only describe as ‘Magic’. There was a big empty parking lot, with plenty of space in back to pull in and turn around. I went in there and set the brakes then took a look at my laptop GPS which gives a me splendid view of all the streets around me. I came up with a plan, which isn’t good enough since my last plan put me in this predicament to begin with. I saw a Police car parked near the road and went to have a look see.
As I rounded the corner of a building there were three Cops standing there chatting. I told them where I going and they gave me directions that were exactly what I came up with on the laptop. So there you have it, I had not only a last minute place to park and Authorities to ask for help. That is magic!
I arrived at the stop safe and sound and quickly departed for the second to last stop. We’re getting close now! Unfortunately there was more last minute weaving off one street onto another. Just when I thought I had it made, something popped up that required a quick turn. I ran underneath another one of those bridges for a bit because I saw a big truck coming from the other direction. And at the last minute I spot a sign that said trucks over 13'3'’ with arrows in either direction. Two or three miles can seem like a hundred when your detouring all over the place.
I sure was thankful this was my second to last stop since I felt I was coming unglued. I was like Tom Cruise in Top Gun (only better looking and without the fancy jet). I came into this mission as cool as a cucumber just like Maverick at the start of the movie. Now I was more like Maverick in his post Goose missions- I wasn’t breathing properly, squinting a whole lot and constantly muttering "this isn’t right, this isn’t right."
I had just about enough of this city! Thankfully, I had a fairly easy time finding my last stop, right on Broad Street. After that, it was straight up to Route 1 which is a highway that took me up to a real highway, Interstate 76 and on my way home. I could finally breathe normally, and rejoiced that I made it out alive and unscathed. After running music free all day, I reached over and hit the play button on the laptop. Sure enough, my song of the week, Magic, comes on due to it’s being placed in heavy rotation. Once again, the lyrics become clear and seem to have special meaning! She Sings:
"From where I stand; You are Home free.
Planets aligned so rare;
There is promise in the air!"
Well she’s right about one thing- there is promise in the air. I’m not exactly ‘home free’ yet, I still have Friday to deal with and who knows, I could be in the Bronx tomorrow!
I was back in Leesport at 2:30 in the afternoon and learned I had 9 stops way, way the heck up in Lowell Mass and ending in Portsmouth, New Hampshire! Mass (I’m not literate enough to spell out the whole name) isn’t always a ball of fun, but it’s much better than where I just came from!
I need to wrap this up as I fear it’s starting to seem like real time! I went up to the truck stop in Willington, Connecticut and shut down for the night. After a high priced shower (man the prices are rising fast!) I put a call into the Wife and shortly thereafter it became real clear how much that days adventures drained me.
As I was talking to her I went to look for my calculator to do some math- and I kid you not, I went into a panic that I couldn’t find my cell phone (which is also my calculator). I’m going "Hun, I lost my phone, it was right here a moment ago." I’m rummaging through my cab trying to find it when my Wife says, "Uh Jason, your talking to me on your phone."
What?
Oh boy. I am obviously completely mentally shot. She ordered me to bed immediately and I obediently complied. Well first I hung up and did my math, then I went to bed. I slept well.
All of Fridays nine stops were finished by three in the afternoon and it was a much easier day. I had been to many of the stops before so that came in handy. There is this one place in Haverhill that takes some work getting into. We deliver in the back of the store, right along the river. To say it is tight back there would be an understatement, check out this picture of a bridge you need to go under to get out:
Yeah, it’s tall enough but just barely wide enough. It’s purely a first gear, let it idle along type of deal. You could probably fit a toothpick between either mirror as you pass the walls!
Well, that is all that has been going on from my spot in the world.
Oh wait, I almost forgot- I didn’t quite have enough hours to make it all the way home Friday night. Perhaps if I would have driven non-stop from Point A to point B I could have made it. I like things like food breaks and potty breaks and I take the time to do them. I run comfortable, not insane like some people might. The entire family would be crashed out by the time I got home anyhow.
I was becoming tired and stopped at the last service plaza on the New York Thruway, right before 287. Luckily, since it was Friday I found a space very easily and even got to sleep with two women.
Whoops! Whoa! Slow down a minute, let me clarify that! I meant to say I slept next to two pretty women!
Shoot, it is just not coming out right! Okay let me try it again- I slept in my truck next to another truck that happened to contain two pretty women.
When I pulled in Friday night there was a lime green CFI (Now Conway) truck parked next to my spot. I thought it to be an odd color since most of them are usually red, but thought nothing more of it. When I awoke in the morning and opened my curtains I saw the two pretty girls climbing out of it. Ah, now the color made sense, I think it matched them well. I would have complimented them on it but I wasn’t feeling real pretty myself.
It was quite warm over night (Where is my darn APU?) and I felt a need to go home straight away and hit the rainroom (some call it a shower)! I waited till they were away from the vehicle and quickly snapped up a picture. Pretty truck, for a girl anyhow! Okay, that really is it for now. I’m home free now! I’m here only for the required 36-hour break then it’s off to New York tomorrow evening. I’m looking forward to another week of magic!
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